


Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

by Moooomoo



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: But feel free to see it as you wish, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Comfort, Gen, I tried to be close to canon so honestly it works both way xD, Nightmare, No romantic pairing in this fic, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 15:58:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18944209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moooomoo/pseuds/Moooomoo
Summary: "He’s running. The ground is uneven, and he almost trips at every step. But it’s so dark he cannot seen his own hands, less alone the ground. He’s scared, so scared. Something’s following him, but he has no idea what it is. Only one thing is sure, he must not let it catch him. "Tamaki has been thinking about his childhood a lot and ends up having recurring nightmares.





	Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

**Author's Note:**

> I almost never write in present tense and boy it felt weird, but I feel it matches the rhythm I wanted to obtain much better here. Sentences are short and there are some repetitions but it's on purpose!  
> Thank you Dami for proofreading this!!!! <3 luves ya <3

He’s running. The ground is uneven, and he almost trips at every step. But it’s so dark he cannot seen his own hands, less alone the ground. He’s scared, so scared. Something’s following him, but he has no idea what it is. Only one thing is sure, he must not let it catch him. The noises are getting closer to him, and he didn’t think he could get even more scared but he actually is. The fear is making his mind go blank. He trips once more, but this time fails to balance himself and falls hard on the ground.

“Mom!”

His shout comes out more as a whimper.

“Aya!”

He’s alone, so alone. The thing following him is so close now, he can hear its breathing.

“D-dad!”

At this point, even his dad would do. But no one answers him. They arrived earlier with his family to this forest for a picnic. It was sunny and warm, the weather perfect for an outdoor afternoon. His father was in a good mood, so he was smiling and actually being nice with everyone. His mother’s light laugh could be heard from time to time, and it was Tamaki’s favorite music. But suddenly, his father disappeared. Then it was his mother, quickly followed by his sister. All the picnic materials were still there, but the young boy was now all alone. They all left without a word. He called, screamed for them, but the only answer he got was silence. It started raining, a heavy and cold rain, freezing him to the bones. As he started looking for them, the night fell and he quickly lost sight of his surroundings, engulfed in the heavy darkness. It’s when he heard _it_.

He sucks in a ragged breath, gets up with difficulty and starts running again. But after only a few steps, one of his feet catches on something and he falls again. Only this time, his leg seems to be stuck, preventing him from getting up no matter what. He struggles to break free, the panic stronger than everything. Then he freezes. _It_ is here. In a desperate attempt to protect himself he covers his head with his shaking arms and closes his eyes. It’s not like he’s seeing anything in the first place, but somehow it helps him. He stays still for a long time, until he realizes that now the only thing he can hear anymore is his own panicked breathing. Timidly, he opens his eyes and tries to stand. His leg is fine now. It’s still pitch black, but at least now the ground is even and he doesn’t feel _its_ presence anymore.  However, as soon as he takes a step forward he feels a wall in front of him. He puts his hands on it, trying to feel where it ends. However he quickly realizes it’s all around him, and even above him. He’s in a box?! No, not a box. A closet. He remembers. He broke something while playing, and his father was so mad he locked him into a closet after beating him up. He slams the surface in front of him with his fists as he screams to be let out in between sobs. He remembers the fear as he waited hours in the dark, before his mother came home and let him out. But his mother is gone now. Just like his father and his sister. There is no one left to save him and open the door. He’s all alone. As his crying intensifies, his slamming of the door gets weaker, until he stops completely and lets himself fall on the floor. He circles his knees with his arms and buries his head into the space, muffling his cries as he does so. His chest hurts so much he has difficulties to breath. He feels like he’s going to break under the weight of the loneliness he feels. He–

“–ki-kun? Tamaki-kun!”

Tamaki wakes up with a start, gasping for air. Sougo is gently shaking his shoulder, and he feels a soft towel wiping his forehead before moving to his cheeks. His heart is beating so fast he feels it might explode, and his body is drenched in sweat, the t-shirt he’s wearing uncomfortably sticking to his skin. He blinks away what remains of his tears, trying to understand what’s going on.

“It’s ok Tamaki-kun. I’m here.”

Relief floods him as he hears the exact words he so badly needed to hear. His hands relax, letting go of the soft sheet he was crumpling. He’s on a bed? Sougo’s worried face hovers above him, visible thanks to the night-light on in the room. Dream. This was a dream. He’s at the hotel with the rest of IDOLiSH7 and he’s sharing a room with Sougo. Slowly, he’s remembering his surroundings. As he does so, the dream he just had fades away. All he remember now is the fear, the sadness and the crushing loneliness he experienced during it, but the more he thinks about it the blurrier the details become. But it’s a familiar feeling. It’s a dream he used to have a lot in the years before becoming an idol.

He remembers just enough to know for sure it’s the same as the past nights as well. It’s been a few days now. For some reasons he’s been thinking about his childhood a lot lately. School had a parents-teacher event, his birthday is next month – which often makes him think about his father –, a TV program asked him how living at the orphanage was like. A scandal-based magazine wrote an article about him being violent, coming back on the incident that happened just after their debut. Usually if taken separately it doesn’t affect him much, but as everything happened at the same time he couldn’t help it. The nightmares followed right after. He wakes up in the middle of the night, and it takes him forever after that to go back to sleep. He makes up for it with his usual stamina and some naps here and there in between works or during classes at school, but it’s becoming a strain.

“Tamaki-kun, are you ok?”

Sougo finished wiping his face clean and he’s now giving him a worried look.

“You really looked in pain so I thought it was better to wake you up… I’m sorry…”

“’s okay. It was just a bad dream... Thanks Sou-chan. ‘m real sorry I woke you up...”

Tamaki gives him a smile, but his heart hasn’t quite settled yet, it’s still beating so fast. It probably won’t calm down before quite some time.

“Tamaki-kun… it’s not the first time, is it?”

Sougo did notice his partner was low on energy lately, but he was at loss as why until now. Tamaki gives him a shy nod.

“How long has it been going on?”

“Dunno… a week maybe?”

“Can I help? What is it about?”

The young man shrugs. It’s complicated to explain. Despite how it looks like when you’re experiencing them, dreams are more like a fuzzy feeling than a clear story when you try to remember properly, making it hard to give them a specific reason. And it’s not like Tamaki is skilled at explaining things in the first place. Sougo tries a different approach.

“What were you feeling when I woke you up?”

“Hm... s-scared. Also… lonely. So, so lonely.”

Without even realizing it, Tamaki starts crying again. It’s just a few tears at first, but once it has started, it doesn’t stop anymore. Sougo gives him an awkward but heartfelt hug, patting his back in a soothing manner. He’s not used to comforting people, but if there is something he can understand it’s the feeling of loneliness. The body of his friend shakes slightly under his soft sobs, until he finally calms down a bit, the messy and intense left-over emotions of his nightmare finally leaving.

“I… I don’t wanna be lonely anymore…” Tamaki’s voice cracks down as he almost whispers these words.

“It’s ok Tamaki-kun. Don’t worry. You won’t.”

Wiping away the leftovers of his tears, Tamaki raises his head to look at his partner and Sougo gently cups his cheek with his soft hand.

“You’re not alone, we’re all here. I’m here. And no one is going away.”

Tamaki wants to answer something but he cannot find the words, so he just nods. He feels a bit guilty, as it’s not like it’s something new. He hasn’t felt lonely since he found his place in the group. This nightmare brought up too many painful memories to the surface and it got the best of him. But sometimes, against all logic, one can’t help but wonder if the good things they’re experiencing aren’t actually the dream, and the harsh reality maybe await for you just behind.

“I know. ‘m sorry Sou-chan, I didn’t wanna wake you up. You should go back to sleep.”

Sougo gives him a soft smile, one not holding a single trace of reproach.

“It’s ok, don’t worry. More important, will you be ok now?”

“Yeah, I feel a bit better, ‘ll be fine.”

The older man goes back to his bed and Tamaki wraps himself in his blanket and turn his back to Sougo, trying to demonstrate that he’s fine more than trying to fall asleep again. Sougo needs his rest much more than he does. But sleep won’t come, as every time he closes his eyes the only thing he feels is this dreading feeling, lurking just a few minutes of sleep away. He’s not making any sounds but it doesn’t fool Sougo.

“Tamaki-kun. Come here.”

Tamaki turns around and see that Sougo positioned himself to the left side of his bed, and is now holding his blanket up to show up the space he cleared up. Both of their beds are big enough for two after all.

“Want to sleep with me tonight? Maybe it’ll help.”

Tamaki doesn’t say a word but sheepishly nod before joining him, his heart full of gratitude. Feeling Sougo’s presence right next to him makes him feel safe, protected, and he’s finally able to relax. It’s not long before he drift away to a dreamless rest, quickly followed by his partner.

***

It’s the same forest as before. It’s dark, so dark he barely sees in front of him. His chest feel tight. It’s dark, he’s alone and he’s scared. It’s raining and he shivers under the cold, his clothes soaked. He remembers. He arrived with his family. But they all left, one by one, leaving him alone. Then night felt, and the rain followed right after. The woods are silent, the only things he can hear are his own breathing and the sound of the water on the tree branches above him. He doesn’t like it here, he just wants to leave. He wants to go home. But he has no idea where this is anymore. Is there even a point in going back somewhere if no one is there when he arrives? He wanders around, trying to find his way. Very slowly, the sun is rising and he starts seeing what’s around him. He’s not tripping anymore, but there are so many trees and he’s not sure what’s the right direction. The rain finally stops, and he takes a look at the sky. Something catches his eyes, but it’s hidden by some trees, so he goes around them until he can make out what it is properly.

It’s a rainbow. Its seven colours are so bright, he can’t help but smile in wonder. This is so pretty! He decides to walk toward the rainbow. It’s far away in the sky, out of reach, but somehow it seems like a good idea. The trees become scarcer, and soon some patches of grass start to replace the uneven mud here and there. He’s still alone and scared, but every time he slows down just looking at the rainbow makes him feels better and he continues. After a while he start hearing some voices, calling for him from beyond edge of the woods.

“…–tsuba-san !”

“Oi, Tamaki!”

“Tama!”

Suddenly, he remembers. He’s not alone. Warmth fills his chest and he starts running toward the voices, a grin on his face. In his hast, he stumble on the wet grass, his shoes slipping. Only this time he doesn’t manage to catch his balance. Just as he’s about to hit the ground, he feels some slender hands catching him, stopping his fall.

“Tamaki-kun! Are you ok?”

“Yeah, ’m fine.”

His raise his head to give him a bright smile.

“Hehe. Thank you Sou-chan!”

 

After a few seconds of hesitation, Sougo silently opens the door of Tamaki’s room. His partner has been having recurring nightmares in the past week, and he can’t help but worry about him as the restless nights have started to show on his face. He tip-toes to the bed, despite knowing that this precaution is probably unnecessary as nothing can wake up the young man once he’s out. Under the soft light of the night-light Tamaki is peaceful, a smile spread on his sleepy face, his breathing calm and regular. Sougo is relieved. He prepares to exit the room when he hears Tamaki mumbling something in his sleep.

“Thank… you… Sou…chan…”

_Oh no, did I wake him up...?_

But no. Tamaki’s breathing doesn’t change, and the only difference is that he’s hugging his ousama pudding plush a bit tighter than before.

“You’re welcome”, whispers Sougo before quietly closing the door.

**Author's Note:**

> In a rabbit-chat Tamaki says to Tsumugi something close to "I wanted to find Aya because I was lonely, but since I found you guys I guess it's ok even if I don't live with her now". It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about Aya anymore, but the fact he stopped feeling lonely thanks to i7 really struck something strong in me lol. I also woke up last week thinking about his "I don't wanna be lonely anymore" line (from the main story I think?) and I ended writing this. I was able to mix 3 things I wanted:  
> \- Tama's issue with being lonely and the fact i7 changed that  
> \- The evolution of Sougo & Tamaki's relationship now compared to early MEZZO'' (especially as shown in Violet Thunder)  
> \- The fact that the incident at the TV studio with Tamaki's dad is an important step in the understanding Tamaki and Sougo finally have of each others. I think it might be the first time Sougo really understood Tamaki and they found a common point between them (if having a shitty father and lonely childhood is a bonding point... but you get me lol. Maybe.)
> 
> I decided to make up a reason for Tama being afraid of the dark because why not (tho it's probably not linked to anything special in reality).  
> Every elements in both dreams are written with symbolic in mind but I think there is no use to explain them, it must be pretty obvious XD
> 
> The 'sleeping in the same bed' and 'cupping cheek hand' do happen in Violet Thunder so I guessed it was fine to use them even if I'm writing platonic this time!  
> /chocked sobs/ I love MEZZO'' okay


End file.
